Friday, September 18, 2009

Coping with the loss of a parent

Recently, I've known so many friends and clients who have lost a parent. Even when you know it's coming, the death of a parent can be a very shocking and life-changing experience. Suddenly the person that you turned to for their wisdom and their advice is no longer available. Suddenly you may find yourself the oldest generation of the family.

Oftentime, people neglect themselves during this time because they are focused on the loved one. With that in mind, I offer these suggestions from Dyer K. 2002. How to Cope with Loss, Grief, Death & Dying
1.Take it one hour at a time, one day at a time.

2.In as much as possible maintain a normal routine. Keep doing your regular activities.

3.Get enough sleep or at least enough rest.

4.Regular exercise, even just walking, helps to relieve stress, tension and improve a person's overall mood.

5.Eat a balanced healthy diet with plenty of water. This will help your body keep functioning during the time of added stress. Limit the high calorie and junk "comfort" foods.

6.Avoid using alcohol, medications or other drugs to mask the pain.

7.Do those things and be with the people who nurture, comfort and recharge you.

8.Talk to or interact with others (inperson or online groups), especially those who have lived through and survived similar experiences. They may provide valuable insights for coping.

9.Do something creative--writing, journaling, gardening, painting, woodworking, building, photography--to express the intense feelings.

10.Remember the coping strategies used to survive past challenges. Draw upon these inner strengths again.

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