Hurtful words---Pieces or Peace?

Did you hear the story of the little boy with a bad temper? Handing his son a bag of nails, the boy's father explains each time his son loses his temper and shouts angry hurtful words he must hammer a nail into the back of the wooden fence in their yard. On that first day 37 nails went into the fence.Over the next few weeks the boy began discovering it was easier to hold his temper and his tongue than trek all the way out to the back fence and pound those nails into the fence. After some time the boy proudly approached his father and announced he had not lost temper at all for several days. His wise father suggested his son pull out one nail for each temper-free day. Finally, boasting that all the nails were gone, the boy takes his dad's hand and leads him to the fence without nails. "You have done well, my son. Now look at the holes in the fence. It will never be the same. When you say things in anger your words leave scars, just like these holes."I've heard some people try to justify, rationalize or excuse their harsh words and disrespectful attitudes by proclaiming "You're just too sensitive, don't take it so seriously!" or "This is me...so get over it." "What's the big deal anyway?" Anger itself is not evil, but unchecked angry and aggressive words can cause paralyzing fear, painful hurt, distancing and loss of intimacy.The truth is, harsh, harmful and hateful words can be just as deadly to our spirit as weapons of mass destruction are to our lives. In Eph. 4:19 Paul reminds us it is okay to be angry, but don't use damaging words, condemn or tear down someone's self-esteem. The problem doesn't lie in the expression of anger, but in the way we use it. We can choose to express anger in healthy or unhealthy ways--in ways that heal or hurt.There is a difference between getting angry and being an angry person. When the expression of anger dominates our life and personality we are no longer a person with anger, but an angry person. A study, by Mary K. Biaggious, discovered students who were quick to express anger had less self-control, less tolerance and less flexibility than those who were able to keep their anger in check. Students who were slow to anger demonstrated more dependability and social maturity. continued