Is there a "right way" to grieve?

Let me answer that immediately: There is no one "right way" to grieve. Losses are inevitable and are ever present in all lives. Death is universal. Grief is universal. We all must cope with bereavement at some stage in our lives. Even though death can be separated into two categories, long-term illness and sudden death, all death is sudden.
The finality of death brings to those left behind a tremendous amount of emotional pain. Grief is not something abnormal; rather, it is a normal and inevitable step in our journey through life. Two simple definitions of grief are
1) the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern or behavior.
2) a normal, natural and painful emotional reaction to loss. We can grieve not only for the passing of a human life, but also for the death of a relationship (divorce) or we can suffer the same emotional reactions over the loss of a beloved pet. Grieving is difficult because it involved many intense feelings – love, sadness, fear, anger, relief, compassion, hate, or happiness to name a few.
Not everyone experiences all of these feelings but many in the grieving process experience several of them at the same time. The feelings are intense, disorganizing and can be long lasting. Grieving often feels has been described as drowning in a sea of painful emotions.

Grieving is difficult work. The following are some suggestion to help in navigating the journey through grief.

-Take time. Don’t let others rush you into “getting over” your feelings.

-Don’t make major decisions. The time of grief is a time of instability.

-Avoid the temptation to use alcohol or drugs to numb the painful feelings.

-Cry. Tears are the healthiest expression of grief. Don’t try to hold back crying for the sake of others.

-Know that there will be good days and bad days. Pangs of intense grief can surface during holidays, significant events such as birthdays or anniversaries.

-Remember the loved one often and as much as you need to. Look at photographs, read old letters and retell your memories to friends and other members of the family.

-Seek people who will understand your need to talk about what happened. Seek out people who will really listen to your remembrances.

-Allow yourself time to heal. Pay attention to your health. Make sure you are getting enough sleep. Eat a healthy diet. Get outside in the sunshine for exercise
or a mild walk.

-Ask for what you need from others. Accept what help they offer. Now is not the time to try to do everything by yourself.

-Seek out grief counseling if you feel you cannot cope alone. Grief counseling is available through community resources, churches and licensed therapists. Join a grief support group. Local community papers will usually have listings. Use the Internet and join an electronic bulletin board dedicated to supporting individuals who have lost loved ones.

-Remember your grief is individual to you. Not everyone’s grief is identical to yours. You will share some similarities with others, but grieving is a very personal and very individual process.