Coping with the loss of a parent

Recently, I've known so many friends and clients who have lost a parent. Even when you know it's coming, the death of a parent can be a very shocking and life-changing experience. Suddenly the person that you turned to for their wisdom and their advice is no longer available. Suddenly you may find yourself the oldest generation of the family.

Oftentime, people neglect themselves during this time because they are focused on the loved one. With that in mind, I offer these suggestions from Dyer K. 2002. How to Cope with Loss, Grief, Death & Dying
1.Take it one hour at a time, one day at a time.

2.In as much as possible maintain a normal routine. Keep doing your regular activities.

3.Get enough sleep or at least enough rest.

4.Regular exercise, even just walking, helps to relieve stress, tension and improve a person's overall mood.

5.Eat a balanced healthy diet with plenty of water. This will help your body keep functioning during the time of added stress. Limit the high calorie and junk "comfort" foods.

6.Avoid using alcohol, medications or other drugs to mask the pain.

7.Do those things and be with the people who nurture, comfort and recharge you.

8.Talk to or interact with others (inperson or online groups), especially those who have lived through and survived similar experiences. They may provide valuable insights for coping.

9.Do something creative--writing, journaling, gardening, painting, woodworking, building, photography--to express the intense feelings.

10.Remember the coping strategies used to survive past challenges. Draw upon these inner strengths again.

Don't get stuck in past or future

Oftentimes clients come in and report the same past hurts over and over. They know that they are stuck in the past and that the past can't be changed, but they go back over and over to re-visit these hurts, slights, tragedies, etc.

Then there are those that are immobilized because of things that "might happen" next week, tomorrow or even later today. Still, it's the future.

The reality is that life happens in the present and that's the only thing we can really do anything about. Do YOU have trouble staying in the present? A technique to become present, according to Lea Cordon, is to "Picture 2 boxes in your head, one for the past and one for the future. Concentrate on inhaling and exhaling deeply. If thoughts come to your mind sort them into one of the 2 boxes until your mind feels quiet and at peace."

Where will YOU spend this Labor Day?? Have a good one!

Learning to Dance in the Rain

Do you know what a blessing it is to be able to choose your attitude? We can't change other people, places or things, but can change how we react to things. Watch this little video and tell me what you think!


http://www.danceintherainmovie.com/. I think it's excellent!

Have a wonderful Labor Day holiday!

Alice